Stuntmutt

Met up with c0ld Vengeance at se7en (ho, ho, ho) o’clock on November the 10th in The Tottenham pub on the corner of Oxford St. Basically, we had to kill five hours until Game’s midnight opening for the release of Halo 2.
Now normally, there’s nothing I’d like better than having to kill time using only a boozer and a drinking companion. Hell, I’ve lost entire weeks that way. But we reasoned that actually, we’d have to go a bit careful. It would be rather self defeating to get back to our respective homes so rinsed that we instantly passed out in front of the TV clutching our copies of Halo 2.
The Tottenham was heaving, so we moved on to The Blue Posts. The plan was to pace ourselves, have a couple of pints, watch the football (Toon versus Chelski) segue smoothly into a cheeky ruby then wander to the top of the road and start queuing sometime after 11.
The football was a bit dismal (0-0 FT – we actually missed extra time when the two goals were scored), the ruby was top drawer (Maharani, my personal favourite) and suitably fed and watered, we ambled up to Oxford St Game at around quarter past eleven. There were already twenty or thirty people there, hopping from foot to foot and shivering.
Every so often, a passerby would ask what we were standing in line for. Most seemed to be disappointed that it was for a video game, not some spicy new club. As time passed, the queue lengthened considerably.



Then we had a visitation from the staff of the nearby Dixons. First, they tacked up posters where we were standing, then tried to poach people with the promise of a free game if they bought Halo 2 from their midnight opening instead.
At about 11.45, Game was kind enough to open the doors and let us queue inside. They did, of course, have an ulterior motive. A smattering of bleary eyed staff roamed up and down the line trying to hawk strategy guides, controllers and even crystal Xboxes as we waited. One lad came over to myself and c0ld. “Look gents,” he said, “I know you’re not really interested but my boss is watching me and I’ve got to look like I’m talking to you. I’m on double time tonight.” You had to admire his honesty. “Have you been waiting long for it to come out?” he asked. “About three years,” I deadpanned. He laughed nervously. “Uh, yeah, I’ve been waiting a couple of months myself.” Then he leaned closer, and in conspiratorial tones he said, “You know the game was actually finished in January, yeah? They’ve just been tweaking it so it works on Live.” He nodded and smiled. c0ld and I just stared at him. His face fell. “Um, right then, well enjoy.” He shuffled off to the next punters. So there you have it. Halo 2 was finished in January. Every update we read was a lie. The Spotty Herbert in Game said so.
We became aware that there were blokes with shoulder mounted cameras moving around the store. Apparently the BBC and Sky were filming this rabble of geeks and nerds who’d crawled out into the London night just to be the first to play some game. We lifted our collars and shrank back a bit. You ain’t seen us, right?
The old Casio’s never been that reliable, so the first I truly knew it was past midnight was when people started to scuttle past excitedly clutching copies of the game and the free posters being given out with it. I have to say, the queue moved pretty fast. Game had a rank of tills going and were rattling out the sales. Just a few minutes later, we had our very own copies. Of Halo 2. Actually in our hands.
As we walked back to the Tube, I was aware of a slight quickening in our pace. And not just because c0ld needed to get the last train back from Liverpool St.
We hopped on a train and almost before I’d sat down I was attacking the cellophane.
c0ld just stared at his copy. “Not gonna open it?” I asked. “Nah. I’ll wait til I get home,” he said. I was already looking at the credits in the back of the manual.
“Spoilers!” I cried. “343 Guilty Spark, Tim Dadabo? 2401 Penitent Tangent, John Michael Higgins?”
“Gravemind?” said c0ld, eagerly thumbing through his own manual. So much for waiting til he got home.
We discussed what we would play first. c0ld wanted to get on Live as soon as humanly possible. I wanted to rip through the Campaign, just so I wouldn’t have to avoid spoilers anymore. The past few days had been agony and it was getting harder and harder not to see stuff that would ruin the surprises.
We arrived at my stop. I waved goodbye to c0ld, jumped in a taxi and was soon in front of the TV hearing the distorted guitar version of the main theme squeal out of the speaker for the first time. That’s not strictly true. It was squealing into my headphones.
You see, the young lady had to head off for work early in the morning. I’d meant to get some of those wireless headphones, but you know how it is…
So I ended up pushing the armchair right up to the screen, plugging a pair of Walkman headphones into the front of it and sitting there, hunched forward all night.
She later told me that although she didn’t hear any monks or biscuits (er – that’s her name for grunts. I asked why and she said “because they look like a biscuit.” Chicks eh?), she did hear me muttering, and the occasional “ooh” or “ah.”
I played from about one am to half six in the morning. As the lady got up to go to work, I took her place in bed and crashed out for four hours. I then got up at half ten and played through ‘til half four. I hadn’t eaten. I hadn’t drunk anything. In actual fact, I hadn’t moved. When I did eventually stand up, I was quite dizzy and there were lights going off in my peripheral vision. Nothing a couple of pies and a can of Dr Pepper couldn’t fix. But I had finished Halo 2. Admittedly only on Normal difficulty (which doesn’t show it off in the best light), but finished all the same. There were things I liked. There were things I didn’t like. There were things I loved.
Maybe I’ll go into all that in another post.
It certainly gave me loads of material for you-know-what though. Hmm. Sorry about that. And I hadn't even touched Live Multiplayer yet...